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manderson4 May 27, 2017 (10:48 AM)  


Joined: Sep 29, 2016
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Country: Canada
Hobbies: Cycling, Computers
1090485

Jenn I for one are glad that you came back to the forum.  So many of us have slip ups and we feel guilty for it.  This is all part of the process.  There are multiple parts to the smoking addiction.  There is the nicotine addiction that the patches help with but there is also the habit.  The hand to mouth.  Thats why people will chew gum, sharpies, tooth picks, have you tried keeping a pen handy or the inhaler?  I am thinking about picking up one of those fidget spinners this week just as a little reward for not smoking.   

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 4/16/2017
Smoke-Free Days: 41
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,075
Amount Saved: $2,254.90
Life Gained:
Days: 6 Hrs: 18 Mins: 44 Seconds: 10

One Down One to Go

Paul, Quit Coach May 27, 2017 (10:20 AM)  


Joined: Apr 07, 2009
Personal Image
Gender: Male
1090483

Hi Lilly2017,


You've been working at this really hard and are struggling, and we're glad that you have this site and our members to turn to, so that you are not going through this alone.

I cannot speak for our member's experiences, but we would certainly do our best to help you figure this out. Sometimes the sound of a human voice can be very helpful. Having a more immediate back and forth exchange of feelings and ideas can compliment the support you get here very nicely.

We're here until 5 PM ET today and 9-5 tomorrow as well, at 1-877-513-5333

Good for you for sharing, and for putting the patch on again today. We're looking forward to reading about you getting back to that "free and happy and clean and proud" place that only being smoke free can give you. Hang onto those thoughts.

One day at a time everyone. Let's all celebrate at day's end and get ready for another victorious day tomorrow.

Paul

Smokers' Helpline Online Support Team

Lilly2017 May 27, 2017 (09:03 AM)  


Joined: Feb 11, 2017
1090480

Hi everyone and good morning. I was reluctant to post this morning because I'm embarrassed and feel like a failure but I do find that sharing here helps me to be accountable and I reminded myself this is not a place of judgement. The past three days I've messed up huge and am feeling a huge dark rain cloud overhead. I feel like crawling into a hole and not coming out. I find the worst part of this journey is that the pain is self inflicted based on choices I make. That's what's so frustrating... I bring this pain on myself. Here's my update. On Wednesday morning I made it 7 days as you can see from my post below. I was so thrilled and although that morning I had a very intense craving I pushed through and was thrilled to have made it. On thursday morning, day 8 (day 6 was a record for me) I had the same intense craving as the day before yet I gave in. The messed up thing is that I didn't even try. I didn't do my usual talk it out to myself, I didn't say all the right things to myself, I just simply with no second thought decided to smoke. I smoked that morning about 8 cigarettes on my way to work. My old chain smoke when driving habit. And the entire time I didn't enjoy it. I felt sick, I felt dirty, I felt stupid. And when I got to work I threw out the pack and felt relieved that I hadn't enjoyed it and told myself not to worry as since I didn't enjoy it I had solidified my commitment to quitting as I was convinced I had proved to myself I didn't enjoy it any more. Friday morning comes, and guess what.... my usual give up in the morning that I had been fighting through the past 6 months (detailed this in my original post). And bam... back to the store for a pack. Arrived to work, repeated the ritual of throwing them all out. Instead this time right after work went and bought another pack, smoked the way home and threw them out again. Now fast forward to this morning, guess what I'm doing? Smoking. What the h*#k!!!! As I said, the worst of all of this is that this cycle is self inflicted. The pain I'm feeling, the feelings of sadness and disappointment and utter disgrace with myself is all my fault. Why do we allow ourselves to do this? Why didn't I push through on Thursday morning? I quite literally feel as though I am in a deep dark depression brought on entirely by my choice to smoke When I'm not smoking (like my 8 day stretch as an example) I feel high on life. I feel free and happy and clean and proud. So why oh why would I consciously make the choice to throw that away? It's like a sickness. Well, it is exactly that isn't it. A sickness, a disease, an addiction. I'm running out of time as I'm due in 9.5 weeks. I need to do this once and for all. So, back to the drawing board. Back to square one. Today I'll put the patch on, I'll reset the app on my phone to day one. And I'll move forward. I've once again proven to myself there is no such thing as just one. I have a question... I've wonderered if I called the helpline on Thursday morning and spoken to them if that would have helped. To be honest I've thought about calling numerous times but each time the uncertainty of what to expect has changed my mind. Has anyone ever called? If so, can you share with me what to expect? How does a call go? I realize this is likely a silly question but I'm curious to know. Thanks everyone for reading and I appreciate any words of advice you have to help me do this once and for all. Jenn

Treepeo May 24, 2017 (08:52 PM)  


Joined: Dec 27, 2016
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Country: Canada
Occupation: Legal Assistant
Hobbies: reading, video games
1087498

Way to go, Jenn.  WAY TO GO!!!  You made it through your first 7 days.  That is a HUGE accomplishment!  You should be so proud of yourself!
 
Yes Jenn, you will experience more intense cravings.  Unfortunately, that is part of what makes quitting so difficult.  Anyone can wait 10 minutes, so that is what I did, over and over again, until the craving passed.  And it does pass.  It always passes. That is the good news.
 
You are going to face stressful situations your whole life.  The question is how you are going to deal with them.  Remember, like you did with your neighbour, that smoking is never the answer.  It is something we learned to do to cope with our stress, and it is something we have to unlearn. 
 
Look where you are right now.  7 whole days smoke-free! And many more smoke free days to come!  You just have to take it one step at a time.  And you're right.  You only want to go through this process once.  I know that once was enough for me.
 
You are strong and determined, and you can do this just like the rest of us.   
I am so proud of you Jenn. Keep up the good work!  And remember, you are a winner!!!


My Milage:

My Quit Date: 12/29/2016
Smoke-Free Days: 147
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,675
Amount Saved: $441.00
Life Gained:
Days: 20 Hrs: 5 Mins: 45 Seconds: 16

Paul, Quit Coach May 24, 2017 (08:28 PM)  


Joined: Apr 07, 2009
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Gender: Male
1087495

Congratulations to both of you; as every day, whether it be 7 days, 1 month, or 220 days, is important and should be celebrated.


We're so happy to see all of you great members here supporting each other, getting through each day, and showing so much perseverance.

Let's all celebrate another smoke free day, another victory, and get through another tomorrow. If it's no longer one day at a time, well, good on you, but let's all be ready just in case.......

Paul




Smokers' Helpline Online Support Team

Lillian, Quit Coach May 24, 2017 (08:24 PM)  


Joined: Jul 13, 2006
Personal Image
1087494

Hi Lilly2017!


Congratulations on reaching 7 days. 

It is very common to have some strong cravings pop up but the good news is eventually, they happen less often and then less intensely before they fade away.

It really does get easier but sometimes just take it for one minute at a time!

You can do it,
Lillian

Smokers' Helpline Online Support Team

Jeyan May 24, 2017 (12:18 PM)  


Joined: Nov 24, 2014
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Gender: Male
Country: Canada
Occupation: Working
Hobbies: Walking, Roller skating, yoga, family
1087483

Lily, first of all congrats on 7 days!! You did it, and proved yourself you can do this!! Like I say never stop quitting. Also, watch out for those triggers, like your neighbor, etc. We always had these moments, yet we found a way to smoke out of it. In the end we did not solve the problem. I too have neighbors like that, family members like that, etc. I also used to seek relief from smokes when I experience such situations. Now I realized that me smoking cannot solve the problem, nor that abusive person. Even, if you yelled at your neighbor he might not change, except only your BP will shoot up.:) Simply, we cannot change anyone or anything in this world. We just need to keep calm, ignore, and do what's best for us, our family, and our kids and move on. :)

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 10/16/2016
Smoke-Free Days: 220
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 2,200
Amount Saved: $1,320.00
Life Gained:
Days: 32 Hrs: 9 Mins: 59 Seconds: 15

Lilly2017 May 24, 2017 (11:25 AM)  


Joined: Feb 11, 2017
1087482

Hi everyone!

I'm back for a check in. As of this morning I am 7 days smoke free!!!

I am super happy not only to make it 7 days, but for a few other reasons....

1.     I made it through the weekend - this never happens... I constantly would go 4-5 days smoke free during the week only to crumble first thing Saturday morning.  I handled it Saturday, Sunday AND holiday Monday with no discomfort. Stayed close to hubby, kept busy, showered as soon as I woke up, made coffee at home instead of going out for it (which is what I would use as an excuse to smoke).

2.     Made it through a very stressful situation yesterday morning - long of the short was a confrontation with a neighbor over vehicle damage - my first reaction was "screw this, I'm going to go get cigarettes" - then I reminded myself that smoking wouldn’t make the problem go away and that the neighbor wasn’t worth it.

3.     This morning was VERY tough - day 7 - for some reason I was having the most intense cravings while I was getting ready. It lasted an hour, all the way to when I got in the car. I seriously almost caved like 10 times..... but I didn’t! I just reminded myself I didn’t want to have to start all over, that there is no such thing as just one, that I was already a non-smoker and free etc.

So, I am now 7 days, 2 hours, 3 minutes smoke free and feeling great. SOOO glad I didn’t smoke this morning!

It's so crazy how after 7 days I had the most intense craving yet.  Can I expect these to continue?

I'm looking forward to when I can stop obsessing over how many days, or is my patch on etc.. and just go about my life normally. I understand that will take time.

rosebud May 22, 2017 (08:51 AM)  


Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Occupation: upholsterer
Hobbies: sailing, reading
1085480

Hi Jenn, I agree with Treepeo.....you're doing great and you deserve a treat. Think of all the negatives you're missing like how bad cigarettes make you smell and all the time wasted looking for your next opportunity to have a smoke. I am truly amazed at how much time smoking takes out of your day. Stay strong!! Rosebud

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 12/16/2015
Smoke-Free Days: 523
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 10,460
Amount Saved: $4,288.60
Life Gained:
Days: 72 Hrs: 22 Mins: 15 Seconds: 43

Treepeo May 21, 2017 (10:09 PM)  


Joined: Dec 27, 2016
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Country: Canada
Occupation: Legal Assistant
Hobbies: reading, video games
1084488

Way to go, Jenn!  You should be so proud of yourself!  That's the spirit!
 
You know, you are going to find that in certain circumstances, you will think to yourself, "Oh yeah, normally I would be having a smoke right now".  Part of the process of quitting is to learn how to do things differently, to change routines, such that you do things without smoking.  So that not smoking becomes your new normal.  But this is a process that takes time.  So whenever you come across situations where you would have smoked in the past, try to tell yourself that you are choosing to make a change, and that you are choosing not to smoke at that moment.  Exercising choice like that is really empowering and can also be a great motivator.
 
You are kicking butt, Jenn!  Do something nice for yourself to celebrate your success.  You deserve a treat! 


My Milage:

My Quit Date: 12/29/2016
Smoke-Free Days: 144
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,600
Amount Saved: $432.00
Life Gained:
Days: 19 Hrs: 20 Mins: 1 Seconds: 11

Efram, Moderator May 21, 2017 (08:47 PM)  


Joined: Dec 11, 2012
Personal Image
1084486

Hi Jenn,


Kudos to you for staying strong and learning as you go. Your commitment to yourself and to your daughter is stronger than any cigarette. Every change helps you to break that "daily cycle of destruction," as you described it earlier. 

As you may have guessed, day four can be when cravings and withdrawals come to a peak. So it's not uncommon to have a setback on day four. The most important thing on day four is to make it to day five, and today you're looking good! 

KTQ (Keep the Quit!),
Efram

Smoker's Helpline Support Team

wimporswim May 21, 2017 (05:22 PM)  


Joined: Jan 03, 2017
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Country: Canada
1084484

Jenn, - Woohoo!!! Another victory......next up...Monday morning & a new record!!!!!! You got this Jenn!

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/3/2017
Smoke-Free Days: 138
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 4,140
Amount Saved: $1,689.12
Life Gained:
Days: 27 Hrs: 23 Mins: 1 Seconds: 0

Lilly2017 May 21, 2017 (04:00 PM)  


Joined: Feb 11, 2017
1084483

Hi everyone! Just checking in. It's Sunday and I'm still smoke free. 4 days, 6 hours and 42 minutes. Tomorrow morning will be a record! And I've not yet with any of my previous attempts made it through a Saturday morning - this weekend I've been through a Saturday and a Sunday and been feeling great! I even went out alone yesterday to run an errand and didn't even think about smoking till I was half way through it and remembered that I'd usually be smoking!! I CAN do this! I am doing this! Will check in again later this week. Hope everyone is having a great long weekend!! Xo

Lilly2017 May 19, 2017 (02:19 PM)  


Joined: Feb 11, 2017
1082486

Hi guys! Happy Friday!
 
Thank you so much for your replies.
 
You're totally right wimporswim.. they DO pass. I was also like you and wouldnt give it time to pass.. I'd just cave, It's great now we both see that they do in fact pass. I cant wait until I am at 135 days like you. Amazing!! :) 
 
Treepo, thanks for the kind words! You're awesome!
 
Just checking in for the day... 2 days, 5 hours smoke free :)  One day at a time right!?
 
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!! Thanks again!
 
xo
 
Jenn 

Treepeo May 18, 2017 (09:55 PM)  


Joined: Dec 27, 2016
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Country: Canada
Occupation: Legal Assistant
Hobbies: reading, video games
1081498

Hey Jenn,
 
Make your posts as long as you want to.  This is a forum where we can express ourselves honestly.
 
So glad to hear you have a plan of action in place.  This is your plan, one which you think will work for you.  So it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of it or not.  We just want you to be able to quit successfully.
 
It sounds like you have given this a lot of thought, which is half the battle.  You also sound very determined, which is also very encouraging.  Please stay in touch.  This is such a hard journey, and we all need each other's help to get through it.  And you can always lean on us, Jenn.  We are all here for you.  
 
Just know this.  If you stick to your plan, you will quit, and you will be a non-smoker.  Believe in yourself.  I have faith in you. 


My Milage:

My Quit Date: 12/29/2016
Smoke-Free Days: 141
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,525
Amount Saved: $423.00
Life Gained:
Days: 19 Hrs: 10 Mins: 4 Seconds: 41

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